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December 26, 2005

Once they outlaw Claritin, only outlaws will have Claritin

My mom's no meth producer (as far as I know). But she does like to take a daily decongestant to clear her sinuses. According to her, before Tennessee enacted the legislation, she was able to buy unlimited amounts of Claritin D over the counter. Now, she can only buy it from the pharmacist himself, and she has to show ID. And she can only get a 10-day supply at a time.

After learning about this a couple months ago, I decided that a supply of decongestants would make a great (if not very traditional) holiday gift. So last Friday, I found myself in the security line at Reagan National Airport, my bag stuffed with several boxes of "contraband." I tried to appear nonchalant, but I was sweating at the possibility that a security agent might rifle through my carry-on and discover the stash. Somehow I thought "They're for my mom" wouldn't make a very convincing excuse.

"The 'D' Is For 'Desperado'," by Zach Patton, 13th Floor, December 26, 2005

Posted at December 26, 2005 07:57 AM | Categories: Humor

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