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September 30, 2006
Rules of Life - 1
"25 things you'll need to know after high school", by Emery Styron, Publisher, Mount Pleasant (Iowa) News (date unknown)
1. Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember, most stuff is small.2. The most boring word in any language is "I."
3. Nobody is indispensable, especially you.
4. Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and you'll see.
5. People are more important than things.
6. Persistence will get you almost anything eventually.
7. Nobody can make you happy. Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
8. There's so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us.
9. Live by what you trust, not by what you fear.
10. Character counts. Family matters.
11. Eating out with small children isn't worth it, even if someone else is buying.
12. If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will.
13. Baby kittens don't begin to open their eyes for six weeks after birth. Men generally take about 26 years. (Ed. note: Some take 35 years.)
14. The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance.
15. Television ruins more minds than drugs.
16. Sometimes there is more to gain in being wrong than right.
17. Life is so much simpler when you tell the truth.
18. People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.
19. A good joke beats a pill for a lot of ailments.
20. There are no substitutes for fresh air, sunshine and exercise.
21. A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.
22. May you live life so there is standing room only at your funeral.
23. Mothers always know best, but sometimes fathers know, too.
24. Forgive yourself, your friends and your enemies. You're all only human.
25. If you don't do anything else in life, love someone and let someone love you.
Posted at 07:17 AM · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0) · Categories: rules of life
September 28, 2006
If God had a PC...
In the beginning, there was the computer. And God entered:
C:\>Let there be light!
Enter user ID
C:\>God
Enter password
C:\>Omniscient
Invalid passwordEnter password
C:\>Omnipotent
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:\>Let there be light!Unrecognizable command
C:\>Create light
Done
C:\>Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night.
And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
C:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\>Create firmament
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
C:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and...
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\>Create dry_land
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
C:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
C:\>Create fish
DoneC:\>Create fowl
Done
C:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
C:\>Create cattle
DoneC:\>Create creepy_things
Done
C:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create man
Done
C:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
C:\>Insert breathDone
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?C:\>Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.C:\>Copy woman from man
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\>Create desire
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create freewill
Done
C:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.C:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.C:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create good, evil
Done
C:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?C:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.C:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_BreakATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\>Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
C:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\>Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
On Saturday, March 7, God rested.
On March 8, God created Macintosh
Posted at 10:17 PM · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0) · Categories: Humor
September 23, 2006
Silent No More Awareness Campaign New York City Gathering
WHEN: October 4, 2006, 12:30pm
WHERE: 6th Ave between 49th and 50th Street
WHAT: Event to break the silence of abortion and let women testify to the damage abortion has caused them
CONTACT: Colleen Barry at 347-245-9476 or Silentnomorenyc@yahoo.com
The Campaign seeks to expose and heal the secrecy surrounding the emotional and physical pain of abortion. Since officially launching the Campaign in January 2003, 180 Gatherings have occurred in 6 countries and 48 states.
This gathering is one of many happening throughout America and in Washington D.C. through 2006. Each participant is "Silent No More" by giving a 2 minute testimonial. Those choosing not to give a testimonial attend in support with the speakers.
The campaign has three main goals:
1. Educate the public that abortion is harmful emotionally, physically and spiritually.
2. Inform women who are hurting from an abortion that there is help.
3. Invite women to join us in speaking the truth about abortion?s negative consequences.
3 ways to participate:
a) If you are a post abortive person who would like to speak out about the harm abortion has brought to your life.
b) If you are a post abortive person who does not wish to speak but is willing to hold a sign saying "I Regret My Abortion"
c) As a general support person who will attend as a spectator (we need you there!)
If you are planning to attend or have questions please email Colleen Barry at Silentnomorenyc@yahoo.com or call 347-245-9476. Your feedback is appreciated.
Georgette Forney, Executive Director of NOEL (National Organization of Episcopalians for Life) and Janet Morana, Associate Director of Priests for Life are the Co-Founders of this Campaign.
Posted at 12:42 PM · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0) · Categories: America
September 20, 2006
"The way we all want a big-screen TV, and would keep it in the box once we bought it."
Today two important speeches were made at the UN: one was a sack of lies dumped out by a religious simpleton bent on heralding the apocalypse, and the other was by the President of Iran. At least that’s how a Fark headline might put it, depending on the IQ level of the submitter. There were various desultory FARK threads on the speeches. My favorite concluded thus: there was the usual debate about whether Ahmadinejad had actually called for the destruction of Israel. (It’s a matter of faith among some that Bush personally blamed Saddam for 9/11, but a matter of debate as to the Mullah’s true feelings about the Jews.)
. . .
Make us among his followers. This would be akin to President Bush concluding his speech with an appeal for everyone to follow Jesus. The commentariat would fall off their chairs en masse: he’s outPoped the Pope! But Ahmadinejad, I suspect, will get a pass. Not because his kumbaya blather and deliciously naughty anti-empire rhetoric chubbed up the lads at AP and Reuters, but because he’s seen as a vaguely absurd figure. He says the most colorful things. Nice smile, too! Always good for a quote, that one.
There’s something else behind the indifferent reaction, though. Everyone has already accepted the idea of Iranian nukes. I think it’s been factored into our subconscious calculations, where they lie as great red glowing things whose threat is somehow still abstract. They won’t use them. They just want them. The way we all want a big-screen TV, and would keep it in the box once we bought it.
I frequently hear people remark that Iran would not be stupid enough to use a nuke, since they know it would bring about retaliation. But MAD only works if the other guy’s SANE. If the Administration regularly made remarks like Ahmadinejad and the other top-tier leaders, critics in the West would have long ago been dissolved in a puddle of corrosive urine. Imagine the President of the United States addressing a group of supporters and leading them in a chant of “Death to Iran.” Imagine what that might mean.
"Cold. Again." by James Lileks, The Bleat, September 20, 2006
Posted at 06:27 AM · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0) · Categories: Gynephobes , Nihilism
September 17, 2006
"Oriana and Rosie - two women of the left"
But I must mention [Rosie] O’ Donnell, because while she claims herself a woman of the left, she is the polar opposite of Fallaci, and I cannot let [Oriana] Fallaci go without focusing for a second on how far the left as devolved. Where resistance-member Fallaci was intelligently confrontational, trendy-cause committed O’ Donnell is merely shrill. Where Fallaci dared to look at the effects of Christianity and Islam on civilizations and see real differences and moral distinctions, O’Donnell casts a vapid, bigoted glance and calls them all cake, declaring: “Radical Christianity Is Just As Threatening As Radical Islam.”After all, she doesn’t have to think. The thinking has been done for her by her co-ideologues. All she has to do is fall in line and parrot.
I gag. I barely want to waste the energy to respond to it, because she’s really not worth it. So, I’ll simply leave it to Ms. O’Donnell to point out to the rest of us the buildings that have been flown into, the throats that have been slit, the genitals which have been mutiliated, the raped women who have been killed for their victimhood, the countless suicide bombers who have died screaming “Jesus is Lord” as they blew themselves up, the gays who have been hanged for being gay, the raging Catholics who rampaged through the streets burning Andres Serrano in effegy when he submerged a crucifix in urine and called it “art,” the Christian who have murdered filmmakers for making less-than-flattering films about their faith…
Come on, Rosie, make your case and justify that moral equivalence you so easily, lazily, thoughtlessly burp out to the assured applause of your Upper West Side audience. Don’t point to a few sick extremists who have killed abortionists, unless you are willing to admit that the Christians themselves have condemned such violence. Show us the justification for your statement that “Radical Christianity Is Just As Threatening As Radical Islam.”
"Oriana and Rosie - two women of the left," the anchoress, September 15, 2006
Posted at 07:17 PM · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0) · Categories: Catholicism